The Big Day

Julian started preschool last Tuesday! To be truthful, it was really Wednesday, because Tuesday was more of a meet and greet experience. Julian was so disappointed when we left on Tuesday. But he loves it! School is Monday through Thursday from 12:15 to 2:45 pm. This is the Mad River preschool, which is public. I struggled with putting him in a private or public preschool, but at the end it came down to money. This public preschool was far cheaper than all of the other options, and I asked around the area and it got a lot of good reviews. His teacher is nice. She's pregnant, and I'm trying my hardest not to attack her with "who is your doctor" and "oh, by the way, did you know this and this and this...". I hope to get to a point where I can tactfully bring some of this up later, after we've developed some sort of relationship.

I can't believe I have a son in preschool. He loves it so much - it was the right decision for us right now. I am so excited about the art projects he will be bringing me home, and the friends he will make. So far, he has made friends, but can't tell me any of their names. Today he finally remembered the name of his teacher!

I also love coming home and putting Melody down for a nap while he's at school, and having a quiet house to myself. It's pretty much the most amazing thing ever :)

We had actually lost the camera battery to our camera (which doesn't take AA's) a few days before school started. I was so upset! I need pictures of his very first day of school! Thankfully, my friend Amanda let me borrow her camera for the day.
Here's my big boy!

In other news, Melody chose Julian's first day of school (August 18th) to start walking! She started off with 2 tiny steps, and before the end of the day she took 5 consecutive steps! This was a week ago, and she still crawls everywhere. She walks a few short steps, maybe, to get a big round of applause from us, but then she's had enough and falls down and start crawling again. It's exciting, though. This year went by so fast. She loves to push things while she's walking - something I don't really remember Julian doing. And it was such a blessing that she started walking on this day, because Amanda had let me borrow her camera, so I caught it on film! If Melody had picked one day before or after the 18th I would have no video, or even pictures of it. I'm so happy I got these!



(this one's really blurry; I'm not sure why)



(this one is clear)

The Decision

Dominic and I have decided to put Julian in preschool this fall. I had originally planned to homeschool him, but I'm pretty sure I would fail miserably. At least right now. There's still a very good chance that I will homeschool in the future, but with Melody so young and needy, my current inability to have a remotely clean house, and the fact that Julian actually cries when I tell him that he will stay home for school and I'll be his teacher, we've realized it's in everybody's best interest if Julian starts at a part- time preschool.

Now I am frantically researching every preschool in the area! I don't know how I'll be able to make this kind of decision. I'm horrified of picking a school that he doesn't like, or that doesn't have good, kind teachers. I am glad he'll be around other kids his age on a regular basis. I think he needs that. I know he wants it. And there's a chance I may even get my house clean!

But he's my first! And I'm so sad that he's growing up! I wish I could stop him! If I would keep him at home it would be easier for me to ignore the fact that he's getting so big. But actually taking him to a school and dropping him off...I'll lose it. There's no way I'll get through this without losing it. I'll know to wear waterproof mascara that day.

And here's my biggest worry: what if the other kids are mean to him? That is something I absolutely cannot handle. He is so incredibly sensitive, and I don't know how to be strong for him. He doesn't have any really close friends right now. There are some kids he likes that are his age, but when they get together he is sort of dismissed by them. They aren't as interested in him as he is in them. And it breaks my heart! I just want to keep him in a bubble. And I've tried. But he doens't want to be in a bubble. He wants to be out there with the other kids. Oh Lord I'm going to need Your strength through this. I need to know if this affects other moms as badly. I'm sitting here just crying. I don't know how to let him grow up.